This column represents the thoughts and opinions of Jason Hennington. This is not the opinion of the Taylor Press.
It’s Father’s Day weekend, which means children, mothers and wives will be doing things to celebrate the fathers in their lives.
For those who don’t know, being a father is a full-time job that doesn’t come with instructions.
Like many men, when I first became a father I was extremely nervous because I wanted to make sure I did everything right — nurture my child, teach my child, discipline my child, spoil my child and, more importantly, love my child.
Twelve years and two children in, I am still nervous about correctly doing each of those things.
Children are an extension of their parents, although some may not believe or understand this concept. The person you present to your children is reflected in their behavior.
To this day, I still hear Superman stories about my dad as a basketball player.
Basketball is still a very big part of my life and my brother’s life, although neither of us regularly play anymore. My dad instilled in us a love of the game, though he never made us play. Whatever we decided to do, he showed support.
A big part of that was just being there. If we needed emotional or moral backing, even some tough love, we had a father to provide that. I have seen instances where that foundation isn’t there for children, and their father gives up on them.
No matter how difficult things become, support is a major necessity for being a dad.
I know a young man who recently died after enduring a very tough stretch of life.
Possibly the biggest issue he had was the relationship with his father. From a young age, this young man’s dad was more of an obstacle than someone who always had the son’s back.
As a baby, his father was there when he was sick at night and needed caring. For whatever reason, as the child got older, his father pushed him further away. The young man had a turbulent life for many years, which ultimately led to his untimely demise.
I believe his relationship with his dad was a major part of that because he didn’t have the constant male parent he needed to nurture, guide and care for him.
There were other father figures present, but that isn’t always enough.
I wish the young man had the father in his life that my brother and I had. He may not have liked every decision or disciplinary action, but he would have been stronger for it. He might also still be here with us.
As a father, you have to make the tough decisions when it comes to your child. I would say it’s a pattern of trial and error, but it’s more like trial, error, correct and learn together as parent and child.
It takes a lot more than talking about how to do it, it takes effort. It involves blood, sweat and tears — I have literally shed all three more times then I ever imagined — but watching my children grow into wonderful people is worth it.
I’m going to get off my soapbox now, but before I do, I just want to wish all fathers a happy Father’s Day. Don’t get on the barbecue pit today, get on the couch and relax.
'I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.'
- Sigmund Freud
