Editor’s note: We’re looking for a variety of young voices to contribute to “Hits Different.” If you’d like to write a commentary, send it to Area Editor Jason Hennington at jason.hennington@ granitemediapartners. com.
Being a good friend is more than just talking to someone when you’re both together. Being a good friend is noticing your friend and choosing to talk to him or her over the cooler, popular crowd.
Being a good friend means listening to what your friend has to say and feel. Not focusing on the world around you. As far as we know, the world isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. But your friends may not always be there.
Being a good friend is being loyal. Loyalty is also more than just staying true to your friends, it’s ignoring what others say or when others make fun of someone. Don’t try to impress the world, for the world won’t love you as much as a good friend.
The world can’t lift you back up when you fall. The world can’t comfort you when you’re in darkness or despair. The world has nothing to give you compared to what a true, good friend can give.
Being a good friend is knowing when your friends need you and being there for them when they do. You can’t just always rely on them being there for you when you need them, if you won’t do the same. A good friendship is not supposed to be one-sided.
Being a good friend is putting in the effort, while also letting the friend give some effort. Don’t try and dominate your friendship, but also don’t just neglect your friend.
Being a good friend means loving your friends despite how “cool” or “popular” they are, who they are or what they look like.
Don’t ditch them for someone you think is so much better. Those “cooler” people may not always be there for you or love you as much as a good best friend.
Being a good friend is enjoying the other person. It’s having fun, laughing, making memories and being able to talk to each other about your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Being a good friend isn’t wishing he or she was someone else, going on your phone or calling another person when you have a great friend right there in front of you.
Finally, being a good friend is taking notice when he or she is upset or hurting while everyone else is convinced things are just fine by the fake smile on the friend’s face.
Recognize when your friend not only says he or she needs you, but when the friend says that he or she doesn’t, when he or she is too scared to ask for your help. Sometimes it just means being there for your friend to take off the mask he or she is wearing, hiding their true emotions, being there to love them through it all.
Don’t keep expecting a friend to just go to you anytime, for often when you are needed the most is when your friend says he or she is OK — but really isn’t.
Look beyond the painted-on smile and happy appearance and see how much you are wanted and needed. That may seem hard, but start with trying not to ignore the times your friend does reach out to you in need, then you’ll recognize the times he or she doesn’t reach out yet still needs you.
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A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you just the way you are.”
- Bernard Meltzer
