This column represents the thoughts and opinions of Martha Van Garza. This is NOT the opinion of the Taylor Press.
See anything different about me?
Last year as I wrote this column for the Taylor Press, I had gone from my married name of Martha Bowles to using my middle name as Martha Louise. As a widow, I was finding my own identity.
In a plot twist that defied all my expectations, I am now Martha Van Garza, MRS. Van Garza!!!
Yep, I got hitched.
I met him on a dating app. Ok, not really. Let me explain.
I had been trying the apps, but I decided I would just hunker down through the pandemic alone, so I logged in to delete my profile. Then it happened!
PING!
That little chime told m that someone, somewhere, actually thought I was either cute or maybe just wanted me to be a sugar mama, but whatever it was I was certainly going to check it out.
And there, in my inbox was my ex-boyfriend. The one I was dating before I met my late husband.
Oh gosh he was still cute I hesitated in responding. I remembered why we broke up but also believed in second chances.
We both needed one. Seventeen years ago, we were close, and he adored my then three-year-old. We already knew each other’s childhood traumas, had met each other’s families, and physical attraction was still there, so why not?
We finally spoke, shared, cried, laughed, forgave and then (gasp!) flirted!
I once read that the opposite of love isn’t hate - it’s indifference. We were definitely noy indifferent. We clearly still had strong feelings, both good and bad.
We had to admit those feelings were there, and we not only had to forgive each other, but we had to forgive ourselves.
We had, in fact, grown. By leaps and bounds.
Both grew through hardships and heartbreaks, through ridiculous highs and the crashing of worlds.
I try to remember that I’m not the same person that I was 17 years ago, yet I’m still me. Same for him. We were older, wiser, fatter and kinder.
Six months later, we eloped at the top of Mount Bonnell. The cool part is that my son got ordained online and joined us in holy matrimony.
Now we live in Taylor - that urban Austin boy is getting used to a small town. He walks the streets every day for his health and has come to love it here. We’ve adopted stray kitties, made good friends, and even though he dislikes the commute, he feels at home.
We have created a hybrid of who we were and who we are. I always try to remain flexible with my attitudes, and now my names. I will always be Martha (even though my mom wanted to name me Starshine) but we have combined my maiden name, VanHooser, with his, Garza, and have both legally changed our names to Van Garza. Because why not? Life is short and tomorrow is not promised. Live your life. The new version may just be perfect for you!
